To My 4 Year Old Starting School

Why does this feel like such a big deal?!

Every child starts school. Every year, there are 1000s of parents facing this day. Thousands of mum’s hearts breaking.

Yet somehow I can’t believe we are here! That it’s our turn. That four and a half years has flown so fast.

The house will be quiet in the week. There won’t be any squabbling. The mess will be less. I’ll only have to dish out one portion of snacks. And I won’t have to tell anyone to be quiet at nap time.

Who’s fake American accent will I listen to, acting out imaginary scenes with tiny toys?

Have I done everything right? Have I taught you everything you need to know to be ok? Have I given you all the tools to cope with this big milestone? I’m suddenly panicking that I missed something or forgot to tell you a vital piece of information.

But you’re pretty awesome so hopefully I did ok.

Having fun when you’re not here, going out for the day with your sister, having movie afternoons, going to soft play without you… I know it’ll feel like the greatest betrayal. Like I’m leaving one out. Favouring the other. It’s not. I know it’s not. But it feels like it is.

You’ve been my best friend for 4 years. Always there. Always available for adventures. Always ready to accompany me on any errand.

‘It’s nice to have time just me and you,’ you’d say.

But I promise this is going to be your biggest adventure yet!!

And whilst I won’t be with you in the classroom, I’ll be waiting every day to hear about every moment, every new friend, every funny joke, every success and failure, every argument and every daydream.

And I’m sure you’ll tell me none of it. I’m sure you’ll forget everything you’ve done, the minute you leave the school gate.

In which case, I’ll just be there for the cuddles!! I already can’t wait to cuddle you.

I’ll miss you SO much.

You’ve been to preschool, we’ve already practiced this routine for years. But somehow this is so different. This feels so huge. So final. So forever.

And I’ll miss you.

I hope you’ll be so busy having fun that you’ll forget to miss me. But I’ll still miss you.

I’ll miss my tiny tot. My first baby. My preschooler. I think I’ll miss her forever now. ❤️

Mummy. x